it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
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