I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
