I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Randomize
