the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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