Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
