That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
