I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
