DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Im just a social blackout drinker.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
