shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
