it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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