addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
