soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
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