I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
