I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
