can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
