Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Randomize
