so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
