Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
why do cheetos always look like penises
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize