brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize
