I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
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