I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
