What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
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