Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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