this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
