She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Randomize
