ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
even my farts smell like vagina
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize