He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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