I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
