i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize