People in love make me want to vomit
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
