...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
