Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
