Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
