Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
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