Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Randomize
