12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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