Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
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