I'm eating all of the evidence.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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