Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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