But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Randomize
