a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
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