you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
