I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
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