i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
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