What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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