so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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