6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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