ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
he just fucked me for my cheese.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
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