You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
