he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Randomize
