you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
