i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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