Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
You're earring is so big in my mouth
why do cheetos always look like penises
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize