Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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