Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize