i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
