I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Randomize
