i may or may not be watching the land before time
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Randomize
