Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
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