i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
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