that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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