It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Randomize
