it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
