I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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