your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
