I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Randomize
