Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
