I'm drive I can fine osifer
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
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