I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Randomize
