Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
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