Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
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