i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
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