I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
How naked do you want me to be?
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
