i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Randomize