I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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