Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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